For all of my friends, colleagues, and clients who will be sharing wisdom over the High Holidays, perhaps some of these stories, quotes, and videos will spark thoughts. Plus, they're lovely to read just because!
If you'd like to get more content from Good Questions Coaching & Teaching right to your inbox, just sign up.
Re-Learning Fractions - A man got on the subway, he opened his folder and started reading. A few stops later a man got on and asked him “what are you studying for? You look confused, maybe I can help?” He said my son just failed a math test, and I am re-studying fractions so I can teach him. I am 42 years old and I don’t remember any of this, so I am reteaching myself. The newcomer informed the man studying that he use to be a math teacher, and would help quiz him. Everything the man got wrong, it was broken down and corrected. By the end of the train ride, the man had a better understanding. He had a new method to come home with to teach his son.
Scars - There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak. “When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there”.
Kafka, The Lost Doll, & The Little Girl - At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully.
Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter “written” by the doll saying “please don’t cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.”
Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka’s life. During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable. Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned to Berlin.
“It doesn’t look like my doll at all,” said the girl.
Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: “my travels have changed me.” the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died.
Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written: “Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.”
Encouragement and Connection - LSU Coach Dale Brown discovered Shaquille O’Neal while in Germany visiting military bases. O’Neal’s stepfather, a drill sergeant, was stationed at the base.
As Shaq recalls it…
So I met Dale Brown and I asked him; “Could you send me a program to strengthen my lower extremities?”
He gave me this look and he’s like, “Yeah sure soldier, how long you been in the Army?”
I’m like, “I’m not in the Army sir, I’m only 13.”
“Dale Brown went crazy.”
“After that I got a letter from him every week.”
Dale Brown even wrote him a letter of encouragement after a then-13-year-old -- and 6-foot-8 -- Shaq had been cut from his high school team and contemplating a switch to playing goalie in soccer. O'Neal went on to play for LSU and LSU went 64-29 in three years with Shaquille O'Neal and made the NCAA tournament in every season.
Video of Shaq talking about meeting Dale Brown: https://www.youtube.com/embed/C-IiiFvfdVo?start=485
Neil Gaiman on Imposter Syndrome - Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.
On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name*. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”
And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”
And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.
(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)
Looking for a Little Peace and Quiet - An old tired-looking dog wanders into a guy's yard. He examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.
The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep. The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
The next day the dog comes back and scratches at the door. The guy opens the door, the dog comes in, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep again. The man lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
This goes on for days. The guy grows really curious, so he pins a note on the dog's collar: "Your dog has been taking a nap at my house every day."
The next day the dog arrives with another note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'
The Gift of Showing Up - All Robert wanted for his 100th birthday was to pet some dogs so his family organized a neighborhood dog parade. Over 200 dogs and owners came, many of whom had not known Robert before.
Life of service - "This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
Comments